De-escalation and emotional flooding

In the previous post I wrote some guidelines and foundations to communication. Psychologist John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, identifies criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the “four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” which will...

Mindfulness and anger

A lot of the people I work with feel that they didn’t learn how to soothe their feelings, express their feelings and have a constructive relationship to their feelings. I find this particularly true when it comes to anger. A theme I’ve also seen is that...

Relationships and Trauma

Relationships, intimacy and vulnerability can be scary and many folks I’ve worked with struggle with trauma, negative self narratives, beliefs of being undeserving, unloveable and other narratives that keep us feeling distant or fearful of relationships. This...