De-escalation and emotional flooding

In the previous post I wrote some guidelines and foundations to communication. Psychologist John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, identifies criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the “four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” which will...

Inherited trauma …. and resilience

There’s been a lot of research coming out in the last few years discussing the ways in which trauma can be passed down through generations both behaviorally and biologically. This trauma ranges from the holocaust to Atlantic slave trade to fighting in war abroad...

Relationships and Trauma

Relationships, intimacy and vulnerability can be scary and many folks I’ve worked with struggle with trauma, negative self narratives, beliefs of being undeserving, unloveable and other narratives that keep us feeling distant or fearful of relationships. This...

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). TDOR is to remember the lives of trans people, majority transwomen and transwomen of color, who have lost their lives due to the violence that is transphobia. “Transgender people have survived throughout the...

Trauma: when time may not heal wounds

In this TED talk, Dr. Ross explains how in fact time may not heal all wounds, but that childhood trauma, especially chronic exposure, has lasting impacts on our health, our brains and therefore our choices, relationships and lives. In my work with individuals that...