Relationships, intimacy and vulnerability can be scary and many folks I’ve worked with struggle with trauma, negative self narratives, beliefs of being undeserving, unloveable and other narratives that keep us feeling distant or fearful of relationships. This article normalizes why relationships can be scary for folks who have experienced trauma and offers some tips to increase connectivity and reconnection with others.

In short that article explores a few tips such as “know that having healthy relationships can repair old emotional wounds, consider the unrealistic standards you are holding yourself to, and allow yourself to see the depths of your current relationship.” I would also add: explore the narratives and beliefs you have about relationships, explore how your experiences and histories in relationships impact how you relate today, practice self care, recognize your patterns, and trust yourself.

Our histories can play a primary role in our relationships and how we’ve learned to relate, but that doesn’t mean they’re not possible, worth having and that you’re not deserving of all, compassion, connection, support and nurturing.