LGBTQ+ and LDS

To be LGBTQ+ and LDS is a complicated experience, especially after November 2015. The bravery and resilience LGBTQ+ mormons embody in the face of suffering, institutionalized cis-hetero-supremacy, and rejection is both saddening and inspiring. The Mormon church claims...

De-escalation and emotional flooding

In the previous post I wrote some guidelines and foundations to communication. Psychologist John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, identifies criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the “four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” which will...

Communication Foundations

Many clients, whether individuals, parents, couples and multiple-partner relationships come into treatment wanting to improve communication. They are either experiencing frequent conflict, not feeling heard and don’t feel equipped to resolve conflict nor...

Relationship Therapy and Communication

When couples and multi-partner relationships come to my office for therapy the most common reasons or conflicts are associated with difficulties with communicating, soothing and listening. There are primary communication themes and resolutions that we discuss and here...

Inherited trauma …. and resilience

There’s been a lot of research coming out in the last few years discussing the ways in which trauma can be passed down through generations both behaviorally and biologically. This trauma ranges from the holocaust to Atlantic slave trade to fighting in war abroad...

Mindfulness and anger

A lot of the people I work with feel that they didn’t learn how to soothe their feelings, express their feelings and have a constructive relationship to their feelings. I find this particularly true when it comes to anger. A theme I’ve also seen is that...